Today my youngest son graduated from kindergarden. I have shed so many tears this morning, when I saw my two year old boy amongst his buddies, receiving his “diploma”, some sweets and his graduation hat. Three years ago, I was not even sure whether I would be alive in 2018 … and it was uncertain whether I would be able to keep my baby.
All my life long it has been my motto to try everything at least once. To risk everything once – although I might not do it a second time if it is too frightening. When I talked about my ideas with others, I always mentioned skydiving as an example of something I would do without hesitation. I have never done it though. Not yet.
Human beings have been given a free will. Once you are diagnosed with cancer, your ability to choose remains – however, your options in life are significantly reduced. Amongst many others, two major aspects will be concerned: your relationship and your job. Is it necessary to settle in an unhappy marriage and safer to compromise? Should cancer warriors stay or go?
I had tried to bring some kind of balance into my life: The cancer diagnosis was something to worry about and the pregnancy was completely normal. That was how it seemed to be at the beginning. Only a month after I had been given my prognosis, it changed, though. Suddenly, the pregnancy was a concern as well.
If you are puzzled after having read the story of my diagnosis so far, I can assure you that we did not have a clue either after having received this new information. Of course, I started to do some maths and calculated that I had about eight more years to live. I would not reach 50, but I could keep the baby. Could I? We knew we had to see an obstetrician as soon as possible.
